Shootin' Hoops...

Yesterday at work, I was scheduled to be on the playground.. So there I was walking around, and there was this little boy, he's a little bit on the awkward side, but he is a sweet kid. He was standing there with a basketball not doing anything. I hate seeing kids by themselves, not playing with anyone. So I walked over and asked him what was up.. he said nothing, wanna play? so I said ok! and he threw me the ball. I took a shot.. and missed, he gave the ball back to me. I told him no its your turn, and he with such a little voice told me "I can't." He began to tell me that he isn't good, so I took another shot and missed. I told him "see I'm not good at this either" and with that he took the ball and tried to shoot. He missed, but I saw the biggest smile grow on his face. And he kept going! He kept trying over and over. Then another boy came over. He was another one of those kids that likes to hang out by himself and doesn't like to play with the other kids either. I invited him to come play, and i heard a familiar sentence, I am not very good at this. I jokingly said, neither are we so it'll be perfect come play. So we alternated back and forth, as i warmed up i got better and making shots, but the coolest thing was the kid who joined us, kept trying and he made a basket! I can't even begin to describe the look on this kids face when he saw the ball go into the basket. He had the biggest grin! And not only was he excited, but the other boy, who was struggling to make a basket, but never gave up, was just as excited for his new friend! Watching all this take place, gave me this warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. I thought, this must be how God feels when, we are faced with a challenge, and we are persistent and keep trying, even if we fail a few times. Even when he gives a challenge that we aren't very good at. So keep trying, don't give up, and be persistent. You eventually will make that Basket..

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011!

Well, it is the start of a new year, and oh how excited I am for this new year! 2010 has probably been one of the toughest years of my life. I'm not even sure of how to start this recollection of the year.. but where better then the beginning?

I spent new years eve with friends from my old college group at my old church. It was such a great time and a great start to the year. From there I started my 2nd semester of college. The start of the year was really great!

I felt like it was going to be a year of fun, friends and laughter! I gained some really great friendships, and spent a lot of time with Mark and Jamie. God could not have blessed me with 2 greater people in my life for the things that were in store!

I became a Disneyland pass holder, and It def changed my life! I spent almost one day of every week at Disneyland this year! It was that one place where you couldn't possibly be upset! Was given flowers on Valentines day... celebrated my birthday... And had fun!

But by May, my fun year had taken a turn.

My granddaddy had gotten very sick, more sick then he's ever been. He later passed away.

Right around the same time my granddad passed away, the news that my church campus was closing and that we were all splitting up was delivered.

In august I got a puppy! He has been such a fun dog to have!

I also lost my church, and had to find a new one...

I went to my now current church for the first time by myself, and was welcomed with open arms. But the biggest struggle for me with this new transition, was opening up and starting to develop new friendships.

With the development of these new friendships, I started loosing the closeness i had with my old friends.

As the year went on i tried my best to stay in contact and to stay close, but with distance it is hard.


2010 was a big struggle for me. And I still hurt over some of the things that took place.

I miss the closeness I had with the friends from my old church. I miss having those people I knew were always there.

I hate how hard it is for me to find where I belong with these new friends.

But I love that God has never left my side through every little and big moment of this past year.

in a way, I am glad 2010 is over. I am excited for 2011. I look forward to seeing all that is instore for me with this year. And just seeing how God is going to use me.

Love...

I have been spending a lot of time dreaming about falling in love. When I think about it, i feel so silly that this is what I think about. I feel like I am in high school all over again doodling hearts on all my papers, and writing endless poems about love. The more I look back on it, I wonder if I even knew what I was writing of. At the time, I was pretty sure I knew exactly what I was talking about! I think I have always been this way. By that I mean, I have always been this hopeful (i prefer hopeful over hopeless because love is not hopeless) romantic. I am a super huge fan of those super cheesy lovey dovey chick flicks. I blame Nicholas Sparks and the people who wrote Aladdin, and a select few other disney movies. I keep waiting for my Landon Carter (A Walk to Remember) to come and fall in love with me. Or my Aladdin to come and fight to have my hand in marriage. Or even my very own Ryan Reynolds to come and win me over with his charming good looks and cheesy personality. I am sure it is safe to say that none of these will happen, mainly because I do not live in the movies! Yet I still wait..
The more I spend time thinking about these things, the more I begin to talk to God. These conversations do not always start with happiness, sometimes just great confusion and me being upset. But by the end of every conversation, no matter how it has started I always am filled with such an amazing peace. A peace that reminds me, that I am part of one of the greatest love stories to ever be written, and that my leading man is way better then Aladdin, Landon Carter, and any of Ryan Reynolds characters combined, because my leading man is Jesus! And with Him as the author of my life and my love and my heart, then I know and take comfort in the fact that things will fall into His plan.
Oh Father, how I anxiously wait to meet the man you have planned for me!

Dream a silly Dream

If only I had the guts

to tell you whats on my heart

Open up and tell you all of what I see in you,

I could be brave, and say I get shy

when you sit across from me

That your smile is charming

and your heart shines through

It may just be silly,

dreaming an unreachable dream

but is it possible you dream the same as me?

Oh could you be silly with me?

Take a chance,

take hold of my hand

and just run till we have no where left to go

If I could be brave

I would tell you whats on my heart.

That every time I see you,

I dream a silly dream.

Walkin the Dog...

Tonight I took my puppy for a walk. And while walking through my somewhat quiet neighborhood, I was watching as my dog would always put his nose to the ground and get way ahead of me. I always made him come back, and would sometimes get a little frustrated by it, but he is a puppy so I couldn't be to mad, he is just learning. The funny thing about this though, was that he would get ahead of me, stop, look back at me, and then wait for me to catch up. I couldn't help but compare this to my walk with God. I just kept thinking about how the Dog Whisperer, my mom's favorite, says the dog should walk with its head up and right at your side. This past sunday at church, the pastor was saying how so often we go ahead of God, and forget that He is there. And then when we can't go any further on our own, we ask Him to come back. Sort of like what my puppy would do. He'd get to the end of the leash, and then look at me and wait for me to get closer to him so that he could once again reach the end of the leash. In terms of the Dog Whisperer, I need to be the pack leader of my dog, but when it comes to my faith, I need to be a part of the pack, where God is the leader. How often do we try and do things on our own, get to the end of our leash, and then realize oh hey God, I can use your help now, wanna come closer? I don't know about you, but I am sick of living this way. Nothing ever ends up right, and I just end up in well, a mess! Anyone want to join me on living at God's side instead of all the way in front of Him?

Where did you go??

So about 6 months ago I decided I would write a "Note" as facebook calls them on modesty and purity. It was more for myself and my Christian Sisters and Brothers. But God has been pretty much YELLING at me to extend this to my Sisters and Brothers who may not be fellow believers. And to speak to them/you from my heart. This is for everyone!



For nearly 3 years I had the privilege of being a "big sis" to some girls from my old youth group. I had the privilege of messing up in front of them, fixing those mess ups and growing so much from them. I had and still have the privilege of investing in their lives and being that person that tells them straight forward why I don't want them doing things. These girls mean more then anything to me. They have inspired me so much for my future and the goals I have made for my life. So this blog is for them. It is also because the "lil bros" I have from this old youth group. I have a passion for changing the world.. and well for me this is where it starts.



I am completely disgusted and just broken hearted by this world and the way it promotes to young teens that "sex sells" and I am so very broken hearted over how many young teens, both boys and girls, give into this, except this, and make this a reality.



I was at a Carrie Underwood concert this past weekend. As my mom and I sat and waited for the concert to began we saw countless girls and older women walking by with there boobs popping out of their shirts, their butts hanging out of their shorts. Now I get that this is the "norm" for country music... BUT WHY? Why have we let this become the norm? Why do so many girls only feel confident and beautiful when they have their bodies on display?

Why is it that I turn on a TV and all you see is girls barely dressed, demeaning themselves in how they act, and showing the young girls who they look up to that being this way is "a sign of maturity." And not only does this affect girls, it greatly affects boys! Have you heard the way boys talk about girls these days? Have you seen how boys are told they are suppose to act these days? Why do we let this happen? Why do we just keep giving in? Why don't we fight this and say you know what this needs to end now. We need our kids to grow up being Respectful and Respected.



I ask myself all the time, "what is it that a guy would really want in a girl?" because lets face it ladies... ITS SO HARD TO FIGURE THEM OUT! hahaha! But in all seriousness I wonder this often. But you know what I learned? I learned I am asking and wondering the wrong question. I should really be asking "what is it i would want a guy to want me for?" and when I answer that... I never have said, oh i want him to like me for my body and to think that I am hot. Instead I want him to like me for my heart, for my passions, for my thoughts, for my strength. And well of course I'd like him to think that I am pretty! but not the kind of pretty that is based off of lust, and desires, but the kind of pretty that is based off of charm, and my smile, the kind of pretty that comes from the inside and shines through on the outside. Because i know 40 years from now I am not gonna be as put together as I am now. that 40 years from now my body will look drastically different. So if the only thing a guy is interested in me for is my body... well that will be short lived.

But I am a girl.. and even though I know I shouldn't be asking what guys want in a girl... I still do! so I thought I would do this survey type thing on my Facebook. There is this book called The Truth About Guys written by this amazing man named Chad Eastham. In this book he compares girls to cars, because most guys love cars! Well he begins to explain how if a guy is given a car you know with this killer engine and just everything he could ever want and is just told to go and do what he wants with it.. that that guy is going to just drive it as fast as he can, do a bunch of crazy stuff with it.. and probably wreck it. But if this same guy had to work, save up the money and buy his dream car with help from no one then, they are going to take care of that car, they are going to make it last, treat it like their baby. He compared this to how us girls should be with guys. If we give them everything they want, show off our bodies, and give ourselves away to them.. chances are they are going to treat us like that first car, they will just use us for a while but once we get old, once they have a chance to wreck us then they are done. But if the guy has to work for your attention, has to work to be your boyfriend, and genuinely cares for you, then he will treat you like the second car. Wouldn't you much rather be the one he worked hard for and continues to work hard for?

So now, what does my facebook survey thing have to do with this?? Well I thought lets take this one step further, lets see what a guy truly cares about in his car. So on my status I asked this question:

"Question for the guys who are car lovers... When it comes to your dream car do you want something that is beautiful on the outside, but comes with a mediocre engine, messed up interior; or would you rather have a car that looks okay on the outside, not a beauty but not a dump, but has the best engine money could buy, and perfect interior?"

Everyone who commented on this answered the second choice. That they would much rather have a car with the best engine and that just look ok on the outside. That yea, they'd want it to be beautiful on the outside but the most important thing is what was on the inside, what the car was made of.
Now I guess that isn't solid evidence that guys prefer girls for their insides rather then their outsides... but in all honesty girls... Is that really what we want? And is that really what we want to show the world?

So here is my challenge to you girls: show the world exactly what it is that you would like to be desired for. And to show the world how you want to be treated and respected.

And you boys? you get a challenge too: Show the girls in your life respect, and desire them in a healthy and respectful way. because boys, us girls tend to dress to impress you boys!

Modest is Hottest!

I have no clue if any of this made sense... or if i just rambled.. But I'll let God use what he wants from this.

If You Really Knew Me...

I am a big fan of cheesy t.v. shows. I watch a lot of disney channel shows, abc family shows, and even a few on mtv. At the moment, one of my favorite shows is If You Really Knew Me. I am a big cry baby and I will admit it! I don't care what people say about that, because well I feel its a complete gift from God, I am an emotional person and it helps me really relate to others. But this show every time I watch a new episode even an old one, I tear up and let a few tears come out.

If You Really Knew Me is a show about high school kids going through this thing called "Challenge Day." On Challenge Day you pretty much open up to your fellow classmates and let them know all the hurt, frustration and just anything else that lays heavily on your heart. All of the students break off into groups of about 7 people and you begin sharing with this simple statement... "If you really knew me you would know that....." and by the end of the day all the kids are changed after seeing just all the hurt they may have caused, that their friends are going through, and even that people they dont know are going through.

Now to some of you, this may seem just plain stupid, and fake. But to me I find it inspiring. There is so often in so many high schools where the kids are just so nasty and mean to each other and you know it doesn't just happen in schools it happens everywhere. and its not just in high schools either. Its in junior highs, in college, and even withing adults. Its just a really nasty side of human nature and we are all guilty of it at some point in our lives.

I think this show is so awesome because often many high school kids live in their own world and don't think about how their actions are affecting those around them. Or maybe they do know that what they are doing is hurting others and they get some satisfaction out of that. But this challenge day makes them step back and start really seeing the person that is underneath the skin.

In one episode they used the analogy of an ice berg. Ice bergs are 10% above water and the other 90% is below the surface. They compared this ice berg to people. The 10% we let the world see is our Image, the clothes we wear, how we look and present ourselves to each other. The other 90% is who we really are, our emotions, our fears, everything that really makes us who we are. I thought it was such a great picture of who we are and how we act. And then I started thinking of my life as a Christian.

I started asking myself how often I only let the world see 10% of me and leave the other 90% under the water and only ever let a select few see that. But as christians we are suppose to be transparent with one another as a way of keeping each other accountable. However, how many times to we put up a front of " I am a christian and yea thats all there is too it, theres nothing underneath this mask" when the reality of it is, I am a christian and I struggle with sin on a daily basis and it hurts and breaks me down.

So If you really knew me... you would know that underneath the image I give off I am a sinner who gets stuck and messes up and beats herself down for it.

If I really knew you what would i know?